by Sinclair Newton
LiveIbizas Webmaster, the wonderfully handsome Toni, sent me this little note: Actually Tesco IS in Ibiza, represented by a company whose name is something like "Distribuidora de productos Tesco y otras marcas británicas de alimentación". Dark-blue lorries with the Tesco Logo can be seen around during all the season.
Well thats all right then, because no doubt Miss Mash will be over next summer with her Soberasada recipe. Ill send this to Tesco and see if they react. I wrote only the other day to Morrisons supermarket and complained that their leek, cheese and potato bake was undercooked and was as chewy as old boots, though I have to admit Ive not actually tried chewing even a new pair. I do recall someone once saying Ghandis flip-flops might have made entertaining antipasti, however.
It is always lovely to get a response to this froth I diddle about with every week and it was equally pleasant to receive five pounds in vouchers from their marketing team so I can go and buy some more undercooked ready meals.
They didnt say they would look into why it was raw food or that they would take it up with the manufacturer, just that they wanted to please. So I suppose thats all right as well then; I think Ill use the fiver to buy their ready-made faggots with mashed potato that hasnt had the Miss Mash treatment and touch of luxury from adding butter and cheddar cheese. Am I the only person in this homemade mash-forsaken world who understands that anyone can make mashed potato (and faggots, come to that)?
Perhaps I should follow the Ibicenco trend of switching to pints of Red Bull and vodka with Madras curry-flavoured pot noodles.
As it happens Im staying at a very swanky hotel overlooking Hyde Park tomorrow. Its called the Mandarin Oriental, though I dont know why, but I have looked on their website and I see it costs more than £300 a night and it doesnt even mention breakfast, never mind pot noodles and mashed potato.
I bet you theres not a kettle in the room and I have to ring room service for a pot of tea that will cost more than Morrisons or the Ibicenco Tesco ((and then all that gobbledegook from Toni) would ever dare to charge for a fillet steak in some sort of wild mushroom sauce.
We know about wild mushrooms in Ibiza and we know about real food and honest people and I dont think theres any comparison with the marketing people from supermarkets who are so thrilled to announce theyve made hundreds of millions of pounds out of selling us our pre-packaged food.
Its a national disgrace in England. Its a bigger stigma that the fact they we dont pay the brave firemen a decent wage.
Food is the most important
thing in the world (give or take a few exceptions such as Van Morrison, AIDS and
DVD players) and here are these people making indecent profits, Theres a
shop in Sant Antoni where the wife will make you a sandwich whilst her husband
is out at the market garden, tending the crops, feeding the pig, preparing food
for the winter. These are real people and I think Miss Mash and whoever at Morrisons
came up with the undercooked leek, cheese and potato bake are frauds. I will spend
the fiver though. I think when Im back from London, where apparently one
in ten people are refugees and asylum seekers (the Daily Mail howls today),
and Ill see if its enough for two sirloin steaks and some raw potatoes
so I can make the mash (with hot milk) for my Mum and myself.
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